Lizzie on Location

The Sacking of Northgate…. Didi Mao! | March 30, 2010

Northgate is the neighborhood my friend Ashley lives in.  It’s the bar district for Texas A&M and has everything you could hope for in a Texas college town bar area….. ok not everything, cause there is no Menas (What up MSU!!!!!!!!)  But as far as looking for all the different kinds of places you would want for Texas it has em.

Top Thing’s I like about this area:

1. It has a bar named “Daisy Dukes; Young, Wild, and Country.” hehehe

2. There is a bar called “The Dixie Chicken”

3. The student population considers many of the bars in the area to be “Shot Bars.”  Places where you go in for a shot and move on.  You could feasibly do a 20 bar pub crawl if you wanted.

4. EVERYONE is nice.  Even the “club” staff.

5. I never paid more than $5 for ANY drink.  2 beers at the Dixie Chicken?? $4.50.  Fuck you DC.

This night was not without eventful happenings.  It kind of all started with a random comment during the day about the “Deer Hunter” and the saying “Didi Mao!!!!!!!”

It ended in a shit show.  With a few phrases controlling much of the party.

Here are the highlights:

I announced myself at every drinking establishment we frequented by yelling to/at no one in particular “Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrreeeeeee She Cooooommmmmmmmmeeeeeeessssssssss!!!!!!” In my best Joe Dirt.

I made it rain on a bartender.  A man bartender. It may be the only time that happens to him ever.

At one point Ashley and I were feeling particularly good about ourselves and our sheer genius humor.  However, there was one boy whom didn’t seem to be laughing with us.  I decided I could probably change that, so I hit him for Jesus.  Here is what went down:

Me: “Hi, do you have a good sense of humor?”

Boy: “I like to think so.”

Me: “Well, we’re about to find out.”

Boy: “Uh, ok.”

Me: “Who loves you more than your momma?”


Me: WHAP!!! I hit him on the forehead like an Evangelical preacher healing the blind on TV church! And simultaneously yell out “JESUS DOES!”

At this point his jaw drops and the bar goes silent.  Really, there was a random 1 second pause in the music and the bartender and Ashley were the only two to drop their jaws in shock…. before they burst out laughing.

In that moment though, the look on Ashley’s face was priceless.  She was really worried that I had hit him not for Jesus and that he was going to hit me back or something to that affect.

The boy as it turns out did not think it was that funny.  I explained to him that if he laughed it meant he had a great sense of humor.  But he declined.  His only response to any of this was “I will not be letting that happen again.”  And here I thought Texas was pro Jesus.

I ran into people who know my people…. all the way in MI.  Crazy.

College Station= Awesome.


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About author

To begin with, this is not for baby ears or the weak. By baby ears I mean people with sensitivity issues and the under 18 crowd. I am crass and if you are easily offended by my language and/or opinions and/or comments and/or behavior, you can get the fuck over yourself..... (sorry mom and anyone else who loves me but wishes my mouth was less filthy.)







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