Lizzie on Location

Lizzie at the Grand Canyon | May 4, 2010

The Beautiful Grand Canyon!!

The Grand Canyon is a place i have wanted to visit since I was a young child.  However, Disney World was also a place I wanted to go as a little girl and never made it there either.  That’s the beauty of being an adult.  Now I get to choose where I go, so I skipped Disney World and instead went to one of the seven wonders of the world.  And really, it was everything and nothing that I expected.  I don’t mean to make it sound less than it was.  Cause it most certainly is not something you could define as less than impressive and amazing.  I just didn’t really know what to expect I guess.

For starters, how do you border off a huge canyon?  I couldn’t figure that out to save my life!  Second, I could have never guessed there were pretty major differences between the north and south sides.  Third, the coordination of the National Park Service to shuttle all kinds of people around the rim of the canyon is somewhat of a miracle.  And for some reason I never really thought it could snow there.   For these reasons in addition to the wonder and amazement of the canyon itself I was caught off guard a bit.

Flagstaff AZ

I left Phoenix at 430 in the morning and the temperature was like 60 degrees.  Arriving in Flagstaff, AZ it was 27 degrees and 8 am.  The rim of the Grand Canyon never got above 50 degrees the whole time I was there. Oh and there was snow. lol.  Freaking snow.  The disgusting stuff follows me everywhere I go, I swear. I think a lot of northerners, like myself, (or yankees to you racist southerners) believe that no matter what time of year, anywhere in Arizona will be hot.  Like disgustingly hot.  I think we forget to factor in elevation and to realize how big AZ actually is.  I sure did and was royally surprised at the climate changes that happen within that one state.

Pointing out where I be at in the GC visitor's center

The Grand Canyon itself is not the biggest canyon in the world.  Nor is it the deepest.  But you can see 4 billion years of rock in that thing and that is pretty damn awesome.  I recalled from my experience in Shenendoah and discussing the finer points of geology with hill billys and religious zealots the amount of people who would combat the dates of the geologic formations.  To my surprise, I didn’t hear one asshole disagree with the park ranger about the dates of the Earth’s conception.  It was one of the prouder times of my American life.

However, I must say, if you have taken a college level geology class, then you have learned pretty much everything the park rangers are going to tell you about the geology…. which to me is quite unfortunate.  But whatevs…… they gear it for kids and dumb people.

Oh Grand Canyon. How I heart you!

My pride for the American people quickly ended once I got on the trail when a wretched and wicked young boy began running in inappropriate places, pulling plants out, hitting anything in sight and screaming.  Oh did I mention he was at least 9 years old?  Well he was; old enough to know better.  Best part, his bimbo mother calls him over to look at this “amazing huge black bird”  a bird “that must be rare cause she had never seen any such thing.”  The bird was a fucking Raven.  A God Damn Raven.  I am NOT a birder.  I am NOT a biologist.  However, I am familiar with the common birds whose native lands are the entire United States.  You know, like Robins, Blue Jays, Owls, and Ravens.  I almost threw up in my mouth listening to her and her terrorist spawn.

"hanging" out at the Grand Canyon

Back on the bus I made the trip to the points of the canyon where you can actually see the Colorado River.  On the Travel Channel and such, the Colorado looks powerful, huge, and surly.  From the rim, the Colorado looks like a creek.  But you actually can hear the rapids which is pretty amazing.

The Colorado... life blood of the Grand Canyon

The only unappealing thing about the GC is to hike to the bottom means you have to hike down first and up second.  That my friends is not how I like to roll.  I prefer to hike up and be rewarded for my labor by a lovely and much easier stroll back down.  But I would have done at least a little of it had I not destroyed my knee in Phoenix.

Whoa!! Don't be one of the 300 who fall in each year!!

Pictures are worth more than a thousand words….. well I have typed a few less.  But even my eloquent way with words can’t do justice to the pictures.  And the pictures can’t do justice to the real deal holyfield.

Geologist's wet dream


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To begin with, this is not for baby ears or the weak. By baby ears I mean people with sensitivity issues and the under 18 crowd. I am crass and if you are easily offended by my language and/or opinions and/or comments and/or behavior, you can get the fuck over yourself..... (sorry mom and anyone else who loves me but wishes my mouth was less filthy.)







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