Lizzie on Location

High Altitude Drinking | May 10, 2010

Oh beautiful Breckenridge.  How I love you.  All of your high altitude goodness.


My little brother and his girlfriend “met” me on my road trip in Breck, CO.  They were going snowboarding, I was going to check out another spot on the map.  My knee injury still being new in combination with the years it has been since I have snowboarded collided with the biggest mountains I have seen in my adult life to make me fear boarding myself.  There are a few things that should be known about Breck.  The town itself is located in a “valley” if you can call it that.  The elevation of the town is 9,500 ish feet.  And believe me you can physically feel the altitude difference.  They say that the average traveller to Breck gets 1/3 less oxygen than they’re used to while visiting.  Just walking to the car will wipe you out let alone a days worth of skiing.  Alcohol effects you faster and harder as well…. or so they say.  I was about to put it to the test.

One of the first things I wanted to do when I got there was contact our families long time friends who spend their winters in Breck.  They have a home there and know the local area very well.  Additionally, they enjoy a good time and always have something exciting going on.  We were fortunate enough to accompany them to one of their favorite restaurants, South Ridge Seafood Grill.  Gus and Jan have very good taste in food and believe me we were not disappointed.  Even Jacki (my little bro’s gf) enjoyed the seafood; something that is not usual for her!  (That’s one way you know its good.)  Additionally, after having been gone from my comfort zone for so long, it was really nice to be around people I had known my whole life.

Cam, Me, Jacki, Gus, and Jan (from L to R)

I didn’t have much time in Breck because we had decided to go to Denver Saturday (they were leaving Sunday morning) to enjoy the city together.  But I did get the chance to go out on the town with my brother and some locals.  Our bartender at lunch on Friday filled us in on the night life of Breck.

For the life of me I can’t remember this bartenders name, but we call her “The Amazon” lovingly.  This is because she is amazonionly tall.  I am 5’9” and she was like 6’1”.  It’s rare that I feel or look small next to a female, but she was HUGE.

Me and the Amazon

The Amazon told us how the bar above where we were lunching had Ladies Night that night.  No cover, free drinks for ladies between 9-11 pm.  Well, they obviously had never met this girl, or they may never have offered such a ridiculous deal.  The Amazon warned me of how easy it was to get drunk at high altitude.  My brother and I had been taking car bombs to the face already and it was 1 pm.  I was up for this high altitude challenge.  I could barely breathe, but I knew I could drink.

My brother and his girlfriend were down for the challenge at 2 pm.  But by the time 9 pm came around, they had lost all of their rally.  I made them go with me to the free drinks and told them depending on if the Amazon was actually cool or not I would go with her and find a way home later.

After an hour of freely flowing booze everyone was cool.  (She was pretty legit in reality too though.)

My little brother went home.  I went out with the locals.

Random Baltimore Boy in CO

The Amazon drinks Jameson.  Funny enough I drink Jameson.

We began taking shots on top of the 4 drinks I had delivered to me for last “free drink” call.

Around 11 pm we walk to the local “club.”

I am teetering on black out drunk and beginning to feel loose lipped.

I am trying to order a drink at the bar and a boy slams into the back of me.  I spin around and say “What the fuck dude?  You can’t apologize?  You almost knocked me over!”

He apologizes, and I feel bad because he looked kind of offended.  So then I apologize and introduce myself.  He responds with “I’m Tony.”

Throughout the course of the night, I begin to see this “Tony” all over the bar.  EVERYONE knows this mild looking bearded fellow.

In my drunken haze, I can tell his name is not actually Tony though.  People keep calling him Ira.

hmmmmm.  I get mad.

I yell at him about what a dick I think he is that he would tell me a fake name when all I was trying to do was be cool with him. I am drunk and my point is not being conveyed clearly.  Now  I am mad that I can’t talk.  Maybe this high altitude is the problem.  Maybe its the fact I have been drinking for 12 hours.  Either way, I am feeling vulnerable to my drunkenness.

The bar closes, the Amazon wants me to come with her to some party.  I agree.

The Amazon has ulterior motives to this party.  I can tell. We are waiting for someone outside the bar to go to this party and its been a long while.  I am cold.

We finally get in the cab to go to this party and she decides she wants to “stop” by her house.

Basically, I think she wanted alone time with a boy and the only way was to go to a party at his house.  But thought if she had the cab stop at her house then he would just hang out there.

This was not the way I wanted to party.

After a bunch of drunk girl drama I do get to this party.  And its not a party.  It’s some scumbag snowboarders and me.  The only girl.  And now I am ready to go home.

Oh did I mention that I had no idea where I was at this time?  Nor did I have a working phone or money for a cab.  But I am the beast of the east with the mouth of the south and I was going to find a way home.

In walks the asshole from the bar who lied to me about his name.  This fucking guy was everywhere.

I promptly begin to plan my escape via this dudes vehicle.  He was also the only sober one.  Doesn’t drink and is still an asshole, just my luck right?

I ask him if he is willing to drive me home (honey vs. vinegar you know?)

He grumbles about how he thought I hated him.  I explain I don’t hate him he’s just a dick, but I have money, food, etc. at the house which I will gladly trade for a ride up the mountain.  He grudgingly agrees to do it for free.

Lizzie- 1

Lying Asshole- 0

The hang overs at high altitude are especially bad.  I personally can drink the same at 9+ thousand feet as I can at sea level.  But I will never subject myself to the pure horror that is waking up in Breck after drinking for 14 hours.  Never.

The trip down from the mountains to Denver was one of the scariest and most hair raising drives of my life due to the nature of my hang over.

Taking Car bombs with the little brosef

The Gondola up the mountain

Cam and Jacks in Breck

Me and Jacks with Breck behind us


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To begin with, this is not for baby ears or the weak. By baby ears I mean people with sensitivity issues and the under 18 crowd. I am crass and if you are easily offended by my language and/or opinions and/or comments and/or behavior, you can get the fuck over yourself..... (sorry mom and anyone else who loves me but wishes my mouth was less filthy.)







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